Sunday, November 23, 2014

30 Things About Me: What's So Hard About Growing Up?

One of the questions on my "About Me" page is "What’s the hardest part of growing up?" I think the hardest part about growing up is realizing that your life is never going to be perfect. When you're little you have all of these hopes and dreams of what life could be. I wanted to be a famous singer when I was little, even back then I knew that was very unlikely, but it was still my dream. Then there are things that children don't view as dreams, but instead they see them as facts of life. When I was little I thought, "I'm gunna get married, have kids, be a stay-at-home mom, and live in this perfect little house, complete with a white picket fence." Those are the dreams that get taken for granted. As kids, we just assume that's how everything works. The hardest part about growing up is realizing that it's not.

I have been married 10 years, and haven't been able to have kids yet. I should've gone to a doctor 5 years ago but didn't. Now I am starting to get answers, but they're not necessarily ones that I like. I feel like I have lots of things wrong with me, and I feel broken. I know, that are so many women who have fertility issues; I'm not alone. I also know that I should have patience because I am just starting this process, but it is hard. I want to just have a pity party, and honestly I kind of am. Luckily I have a supportive husband. He is very optimistic, which is unusual because usually I am the optimistic one - and I'm definitely NOT right now. It's nice to have such support behind me, because I have been a wreck lately.

Another thing that is hard is to not blow up at people because they constantly complain about their lives. You know, the life that you want but can't have. I know some people who complain about their kids all the time, and it is very hard for me to keep my mouth shut. I do, most times, but it is hard. I wish everyone could see the blessings in their lives (myself included) because even though life is not perfect we all have blessings.

So here is a fact of life: Life is not perfect. It never has been, and it never will be - I just have to learn to accept it.


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